things i want to say to some of my close CTA friends

…by friends I of course mean the 200-something people I share my work commutes with. Here is a list of some things I’ve wanted to scream out during my transit. Up until now I’ve refrained but that’s not to say that the fateful day isn’t awaiting in the future.

“We can see you picking your nose!”

“Based on the one-sided conversation I’ve been eavesdropping on, the answer is ‘no’ – your mom, your boyfriend and your ten friends you’ve just shared the same story with don’t care.”

“You smell incredibly bad/good.”

“You’re fly is unzipped.”

“Have you ever heard of the show ‘What Not To Wear?'”

“Yes, I can feel that!”

“Hey, you – the chump in the fedora – get your ass up and please let Old Man River/Old Woman River/Lady about to give birth on the floor of the “L” your seat. Punk ass.”

“Would you mind turning down your blazing hip-hop and R&B flavors?”

“Yes. I have been staring at you.”

“Why yes. I have also been listening to your entire conversation.”

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2 responses to “things i want to say to some of my close CTA friends

  1. Why HELLO, bigcitylites! How did you find me?//?

    anyway: “Would you mind turning down your blazing hip-hop and R&B flavors?” is the best thing I’ve read since middle school. Hilarious. LOLF

  2. How about this one.

    Anyone: “I know you are not a people person, but please move your small ass bag, so someone can sit there.”

    Grr.. That make me really pissed.

    Haha, love the blog!

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