(That’s a dog by the way.)
I saw “He’s Just Not That Into You” the other night and am left feeling completely bewildered. A feeling that continues to grow and turn into irritation the more I think about the film. It’s a feeling that I would hope many would share with me once they look past the pretty, Hollywood faces saturating the film and recognize that the movie is one giant contradiction after the other, starting with its genre and title.
As much as its marketing team may have tried to convince movie-goers otherwise, this movie is a chick flick through and through. This isn’t exactly a problem, except when the title of your movie is “He’s Just Not That Into You,” a name that lends itself to telling it to women as it is; basically the anti-chick flick. The reason chick flicks do so well is because women want to slip away into a fantastical life about a woman who in the end always seems to triumph and find that perfect guy. The premise of HJNTIY is that women need to stop believing all the messages they’re fed through countless hours of watching these types of movies. She needs to stop romanticize the idea of prince charming, wake up and realize that the douche bag that only calls her on the weekends is not actually her boyfriend. She needs to become aware of what reality is, namely: not a romantic comedy that ties up neatly in two hours.
A character from the movie specifically points out that women need to stop rationalizing that they’re life situation is the “exception” to what’s normal. In her character’s turning point, she comes to the revelation that those mysterious girls you hear about with the fairytale ending are the “exception,” not the “rules.” The rules being as simple as if you don’t hear from a guy, he’s not into you. Yet – and this is not exactly a spoiler alert – nearly every single of those women turn out to be the exception.
WTF? Isn’t that going back on your exact point? So the name of the god damned film is “He’s Just Not That Into You,” but… oh wait… turns out he is into you. Just what in the hell are these mixed messages telling us? I tell you what they tell us: this movie didn’t have the gall to reach the potential it had. No, people want to see happy endings, and that’s what the movie making business will provide its paying consumers. Whatever, that’s lame but I understand that it’s a business but please, don’t think that consumers are that stupid that we wouldn’t pick up on this total contradiction. We would right?… oh Jesus, I don’t know anymore – I mean look at how well “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” is doing.
What is even more disconcerting to me is that other women will absolutely adore this movie because “Oh, it’s so cute!” or “OMG I totally know a girl like that.” etc. etc. Yes, it is easy to get distracted by the gobs of wonderful and pretty famous people in it, but can’t you see that this movie is backhandedly swapping at its exact intended market? Women are portrayed as needy and desperate, with their only concern to be how soon they can get married. The movie did have a set for the women’s jobs but did they ever even bother mentioning what they did? No because all the women did at work was talk about guys. Their lives centered on evaluating their self worth based purely on what some dude they went on one date thought. One character did not even bother to think for one second if she may actually be interested in someone, but was obsessing over whether or not he’s interested in her. Is he going to call me? What did he think of me? Shouldn’t the more accurate questions be: Do I want him to call me? Should I call him? What do I think of him?
To me, the message intended behind HJNTIY (the “self-help” book) is that women need to stop making excuse for why they’re staying in a relationship. That sometimes people need a reality check every once in a while. That women need to stand up for what they want, and not lower their standards because they fear being alone. Basically, empower yourself and don’t pretend to be someone (or something) you’re not.
Okay, okay. I get it; men are scared of that final commitment – marriage. It’s some men’s belief that the day they get married is the day they must castrate themselves, thereby handing over their balls to a woman who will now control them for the rest of their lives, resulting in their “fun time” being restricted to the occasional Sunday they’re given permission to watch football and have a maximum of four beers.
Well, that’s getting off easyaccording to nomarriage.com! The site has written off marriage and serves as a “Public Service Announcement” to other men about the downfalls of marrying (everything) and the horror that is American women. It cautions men against any woman who actually believes in love, is interested in a successful career, and strives for personal growth and self-improvement. Like I said, horror!
Although deemed as a PSA, the site is really nothing more than a shamelessly extensive plug for some book describing the same thing: the awful downfalls of American women and marriage. I’m guessing the target audience is men who want to justify the fact that they haven’t had sex in about five years or those looking for an excuse to tell themselves for why they’ve never gone on an actual date. Maybe surprisingly, the site isn’t for men looking to “play the game” (that can be found here). In fact, the site directs those types to learn how to stop being controlled by “pussy” and instead, strive to make money so they can travel and find the only acceptable wife, a Latin American woman. Apparently the women there do not have “pussies.”
The content of the site leaves me feeling a bit bewildered. Not because I uphold the sanctity of marriage. That got thrown out the window with the climbing divorce rates, Prop 8 and the demise of Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s marriage. (If they can’t do it, no one can.) And not because I take issue with those challenging the supposed “norms” of society. It’s because the site is so extreme that it’s laughable. Some premier examples include, but are not limited to:
“A modern western woman is raised to become an awful wife. Nothing can be done about it; the problems are in her head and they are 100% incurable and only get worse the more you are with her.”
“Children are overrated.”
“Fucking decent mid-priced whores twice a week is a lot less expensive than a wife.”
These ludicrous statements cause me to wonder just what the hell happened to these individuals to make them such radicals. Is this because you didn’t hit puberty until 25? Is it because you fell in love with someone who didn’t give a flying fuck about you? Is it because you didn’t loose your virginity until your 30s…or at all? Is it because your best friend stole the love of your life? I mean what?!?!
The truth of the matter is that these men will never be happy – even if they find the ultimate goal of a Latin American woman – because they’re the type of people that find fault in everything. The type that bitches about being too hot when they take a winter vacation to the Caribbean; the one that whines after they receive a gift because they really wanted something better; the type that spends more time complaining than it would take to rectify the situation. Basically, assholes.
All I have to say is, thank God none of you are procreating.
It is my personal belief that Chicago Tribune’s free daily newspaper The RedEye is not funny. At all.
I pick this paper up nearly every single day and will, most likely, continue to do so. However, I grow increasingly annoyed with how impressed The RedEye seems to be with itself. It is in effect, the Dane Cook of newspapers. It is like hearing nails on a chalkboard when I read their one-line “quips” that they seem to find hilarious because they are neverfunny. Usually the purpose of those “zingers” is to prove that RedEye is “down with the young folk” and so much cooler than the ol’ snooze that the Trib is. Ironically though, the paper’s attempt to be funny only makes it that much more obvious just how hard they’re trying and that they are just…not funny.
That being said, I still like the paper for the purpose of getting snippets of news during my morning commute so as not to resort to staring at strangers thinking or saying one of many things.
Question: why do some people suck? I mean seriously. I get that work is not people’s favorite thing to do but…get over it. For one reason or another you have a job, a job that maybe isn’t your dream job but one that you choose in some respect. And jobs, like practically all things, have positive and negative things that come with it. We all deal with it…so stop complaining!
Your incessant whining is not going to change that fact that you still will have a job to do. Now, I am all for a good venting sess’ when necessary but I believe the two are different things. The only thing your complaining is succedding in is bringing everyone else dooown. And furthermore, don’t complain when you’re not even the one doing the bulk (or any) of the work…not that this ranting is particularly geared at anyone specifically. Ha.
Just some thoughts after a long day trapped inside. Forgive my whining.
Oh braather. Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse for America, Tori Spelling and her artfully inked hubby Dean McDermott went and proved you wrong. No, I’m not referring to their look at me, look at me reality show Tori & Dean which airs on Oxygen (which we all know is the end all be all of quality television programs); I am actually referring to a god awful photo shoot featuring the two as something they’ll never be – a famous couple. Continue reading