Well, seems to me the perfect solution would be to form somewhat of a vortex surrounding you so that you could shield all natural elements of the outside world. And believe it or not – someone has actually done it! Ladies and gents, I present to you numbrella!
This completely and utterly necessary product allows you to not just hold (sooo 20th century) an umbrella, but rather strap one on! Yes…literally! This umbrella literally forms a bubble around an individual so that you can be left hands free to do all those important things you need to whilst being in the rain – like texting, talking on your phone or (God forbid) trying to find something in your purse.
This innovative product has changed the world! (or at least its website would have you believe) All outdoor enthusiasts are now rejoicing that they can finally spend the hours and hours outside that they want to when it’s raining. And this “eye catching new aerodynamic design” costs a mere $49.99, a drop in the pan to any rain fan.
Now, like you reader, I was a bit concerned that I wouldn’t be able to do all my favorite outdoor activities, even with this product of the future. However, a brief look at the product’s website shows consumers riding bikes, talking on their phones and even features a woman flaunting her intelligence and perfectly preserved hair and make-up towards some loser who’s still using a regular umbrella!
I hereby endorse the numbrella and give it the ‘lite stamp-of-approval! Because, hon-ey, any product that allows me to exert my intellect, display my beauty and exhibit my superiority amongst the city’s commoners all whilst doing my favorite activities such as bike riding, (runway) walking, or even canoeing is well worth a President Grant.